Uncle Bill's Silly Pages

Washington:

All lollipops are banned.

A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town".

It is illegal to deflower a virgin even on their wedding day. 

It is illegal to catch a fish by throwing a rock at it.

In Seattle it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that is over 6 feet in length.

In Seattle if a woman is sitting on a man's lap while riding a bus, train, or trolley, there must be a pillow between them.

In Bellingham it is illegal for a woman to take any steps that are not in the backwards direction while dancing.

In Alabama, it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle.

In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad.

In Switzerland, it is illegal for a man to relieve himself while standing up after 10pm.

In Jidda, Saudi Arabia, women were banned from using hotel swimming pools in 1979

In France, it is against the law to sell an “E.T” doll. They have a law forbidding the sale of dolls that do not have human faces.

In Pennsylvania, it’s against the law to tie a dollar bill on a string on the ground and pull it away when someone tries to pick it up.

In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays can be jailed.

In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long.

In California it is illegal for a vehicle without a driver to exceed 60 miles per hour.

In Devon, Texas, it is against the law to make furniture while you are nude.

In Salt Lake County, Utah, it’s illegal to walk down the street carrying a violin in a paper bag.

In the city of York, England, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.

In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon.

In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk.

In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.

In Bozeman, Montana, a law prohibits all sexual activity from the front yard of a home after sundown.

In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

Under the UK’s Tax Avoidance Schemes Regulations 2006, it is illegal not to tell the taxman anything you don’t want him to know, though you don’t have to tell him anything you don’t mind him knowing.

In Calgary Alberta, there is still a by-law that requires businesses within the city to provide rails for tying up horses.

In Samoa, it’s a crime to forget your own wife’s birthday.

In Tennessee, you are breaking the law if you drive while sleeping.

In Louisiana, biting someone with your natural teeth is considered “simple assault,” but biting someone with your dentures is “aggravated assault.”

In San Francisco, it’s illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.

In Fairbanks, Alaska a law in does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.

In New Jersey, it is illegal to slurp soup.

It is illegal to give or receive oral sex

It is illegal to walk across the Minnesota-Wisconsin border with a duck on your head.

It is illegal to have sex in any other position other than missionary.

It is illegal to drive a red car down main street on Sundays.

It is illegal to have two or more forms of state issued identification

Under the vagrancy laws, it is illegal to stand near or in a building without a reason for being there

In Cottage Grove, when emergency water conservation measures are in force, people in even numbered houses can water their gardens only on even numbered dates or on the 31st of any month.

It is legal for the blind to hunt, and they don't need anyone with them. [Thanks to an anonymous contributor]

A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.

There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office.

It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.

It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber.

There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.

Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property. (Detroit)

Wilfully destroying your old radio is prohibited. (Detroit)It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday. (Detroit)

It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from "rooting" in the ground for their food. (Detroit)

Security guards at Joe Louis Arena will confiscate any item they feel might be thrown onto the ice. Furthermore, any person seen throwing an octopus onto the ice at a Red Wings game will be taken to jail. (Detroit)

It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.

It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend. (Kalamazoo)

All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police. (Rochester)

Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day. (Wayland)

Alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants.