Uncle Bill's Silly Pages

The door opened and out of the box came a strong muscular handsome and virile looking figure. He looked up at the sun and shook his head. “I wish I could have gotten there sooner” he said. “Just a few minutes earlier and I would have been able to save him and take him back home. Damn that flux capacitor and why does your ultrasonic torque wrench always go missing when you want it."

The door of the box opened again and a tired and battered looking Tux emerged from the box and said “but you saved me”.

“Yes” said the handsome fellow, “ but I couldn't achieve a temporal reinsertion into the correct time line, a few seconds earlier and you could be home but now you are stuck in an exo temporal state”. “But hang on” he said, “just as I pulled you of the ship that had Set It's Control for The Heart of The Sun, I received a data burst from somewhere in Oop North”.

They re-entered the ship which once again to Tux's amazement was much larger inside than out. “What is this vessel?” asked Tux. “It's a TARBIS” said the good looking muscular chap. “Does that mean Time And Relative something or other?” said Tux. “Don't be daft”, said the man, “it means This ARe Bigger In Side.

The transmission was decoded and Tux was astoundished to find that it was a message from his father Kin El. The message told Tux that he was sort of stuck in a Time Bubble and could not return to his normal time. The only way he would be able to get back to his normal time zone would be to assemble the Ring Of Stavros, the ring had been broken into quartets many millenia later and were safely stored away in a secret location known only to a band of men called The Guardians Of The Ring Piece of Stavros.

Apparently the Fortress of Fishitude existed outside of time and was present in some form somewhere on the planet whenever he was. Tux would need to find the Fortress in his existing time zone and then he would find a clue to the whereabouts of the Guardians and the location to the Ring Pieces of Stavros.

“Right my friend”, said the good looking muscular stranger, “I've managed to dig out an old TARBIS so that once you have got your hands on Stavros' ringpiece you can then get to the next time zone and so on. Then when they are all together you should be able to insert yourself into the assembled ring piece and go home to your own time zone.”

“One last thing” said the handsome and virile looking stranger, “I'm going to give you this device which you need to wear around your neck, it will let me track when you are in case you get into any problems, it's called a Temporal Watcher And Tracker or a TWA, ummm, never mind”.

The stranger gave Tux some instructions on how to operate the TARBIS and a can of damp start in case it was raining and then he and Tux bade farewell to each other. A scan of the area showed that Tux was in the land of the Scots and the scanner showed a strange but familiar energy signature about 200 miles south. Tux put the TARBIS into cloaked mode and stepped outside. The sky had grown dark and it had started to snow, in the distance could be heard the sound of bells and the crack of a whip.

An object could be seen in the sky coming nearer preceeded by a strange glow, then came the sound of a voice shouting “Schnell schnell, come on you dumkopf rrrrrrreindeerrrs, Tux once more was mind gobbled as he recognised the figure speeding towards him was Sam Der Kraut in his sleigh being pulled along by Herr Rudolph, Himler, Heinkel and Adolf the brown nosed reindeer, he was called this as he was in the second row of reindeers and couldn't stop very well.

Sam Der Kraut flew on overhead and the words “get a move on you dumkopf or it's the Donor Kebab shop for you” faded into the distance.

Tux examined his pengicompass and set off in the direction of the energy readings, he stopped suddenly as he walked into the cloaked TARBIS, then picked himself up, dusted himself off and started all over again, this time he remembered he could now fly and leapt into the air, his destination was a small riverside town some 200 miles south where he hope he would find the first of the Guardians of The Ring Piece of Stavros.